Interview with Yna Cesar

I always thought art was just a hobby and not something that could be profitable because, in the Philippines, art is seen as something that’s kind of a waste of time. If you’re Filipino, people expect you to be a nurse, work in some sort of medical field or be in a profitable, respectable profession.

I’m lucky to have a supportive family who allowed me to do art as long as I wasn’t failing in school. I did art competitions and commissions, but as far as I can remember, I’ve always been drawing.

My uncle was probably the biggest influence in that. I remember watching him draw with a pen, from memory, with no references. As a kid, seeing that, I always thought, “How is he doing that and how can I do that too?” To be honest, I’m not quite there yet and I still need my references, but I’m somehow a tattoo artist now.

It was 2020. I had just graduated high school, it was the midst of COVID, and I was aiming to get into U of T for architecture. But between not wanting to take classes online and realizing that I couldn’t afford the course, I decided to take a gap year and work full time.

With the monotony of going to work and staying indoors on my days off, I thought to myself, “Maybe I’ll learn how tattooing works.” I had no intention of becoming a tattoo artist at all because it was ingrained in me that art = no money. So, out of curiosity, I set out to learn how to tattoo by doing research, reading articles, websites and books.

Then one day, a high school friend of mine, Stephan, who was learning how to cut hair, asked if he could cut mine. I said yes. I went to the barbershop where he worked, and we were catching up when I happened to mention that I was doing research and learning how to tattoo.

He mentioned that there was a tattoo shop in the back of the barbershop. I was surprised and said, “What? That’s crazy.” He offered to talk to the owner about an apprenticeship, and since I had nothing to lose, I said sure.

They agreed to take me on as a shop apprentice. I was there for two weeks, and they didn’t give me anything to do, so I was just sitting around. On my last day, they asked me to refill the squeeze bottles. I asked where the distilled water was, but they looked at me like I was asking if there was a unicorn in the shop before telling me, “Just use the tap water.”

I knew that wasn’t right, but I did it anyway. Before I left for the day, I told the owner that if I ever had to tattoo, I would be bringing my own supplies. He said okay, but before I could even come in the next day, I got a message saying, “We won’t be needing you anymore.”

Good luck? Right place at the right time? Probably good friends, who knows. What I know is that after I got fired, I was bummed out because I’d realized that tattooing was a viable career and that there was a possibility I could actually make a living doing something I love: making art.

To get me out of the slump, my friends dragged me out for some drinks on Church Street. Afterwards, we decided to walk around and check out the other businesses in the area since it was my first time there. I spotted a building across the street that was colourful and covered in graffiti. I had no idea what it was and I wanted to know, so we went in.

I was mesmerized by the amount of artwork, collectibles and specimens displayed there. Every corner was covered in art. In fact, I was so mesmerized, and probably just drunk, that I didn’t notice the lady sitting at the front desk until she welcomed us and asked, “Are you guys looking to get tattooed?” I said, “No, I just thought the building looked cool from the outside and I wanted to see what’s inside.”

The lady at the front desk was more than happy to let us look around. Of course, I was excited to do just that because she also mentioned there was more art upstairs. But before I could even turn around, my friends pinned me down, one on each side holding my shoulders, and told her, “This is Yna and she is actually an aspiring tattoo artist. Are you guys looking for an apprentice?”

I didn’t know what to do. I was drunk and confused, but I turned to my friends and mouthed, “What the fuck are you guys doing?” Before they could even respond, the lady at the counter asked if I had a portfolio she could look at. All I had was my Instagram with a few digital drawings.

She looked through it, told me she just needed to call her partner and went into the back room. In my head, I thought it was going to be a phone call, but she came back out with her partner. He looked at my work and asked if I could come in the following week for a practical interview. In my head I was screaming, “What the fuck? What is happening?”

Drunk, confused, anxious, terrified even, I said yes to doing the practical interview with one of my friends as my test subject. In the span of a week leading up to the interview, I tattooed fake skin, myself, my mom and my grandma. That’s all I had going into it. It was the scariest interview I had ever done, but I did it and got hired on the spot as a walk-in artist.

On top of my research, I learned from the artists and colleagues I worked alongside, some of whom have become my longtime friends. With their help and guidance, I was able to grow and learn as an artist.

I find hand poke more therapeutic, more intentional. You can slowly see the skin get marked dot by dot, with patience from both your client and you as an artist. I also enjoy the sound it makes. It’s a very specific sound that’s hard to explain if you’ve never gotten a hand poke tattoo before. On top of that, I also find hand poke tattoos are better for more delicate areas like the fingers, hands or ears.

Now, I’m not saying that machine tattoos aren’t therapeutic or intentional, because they still are. A machine is just more convenient most of the time because it’s undeniably faster than a hand poke tattoo. Not everybody has the time to sit on a tattoo bed, and that’s okay.

That’s why I offer both methods.

I had been tattooing for about a year or so, but at the time I was focused on red-and-black illustrative work. Eyeballs, gore, dark and horror-related tattoos. But I was already researching traditional Filipino patterns as well as Baybayin.

Then one day, a couple walked in for a tattoo and I ended up tattooing one of them. My client’s partner, Cess, who I’ve now known for a few years, asked if I was Filipino and whether I’d done traditional Filipino tattoos before. I told her that yes, I was Filipino, but I had never done one before and was still doing research.

She asked if I would be interested in doing a half-sleeve for her. I was hesitant at first because it was something I hadn’t done before. I just couldn’t believe she would put her faith in me and trust me with such a big project. But in the end, I agreed to do it, and that was my first traditional piece.

It was definitely the push I needed, and it encouraged me to transition into traditional Filipino tattooing.

It’s fulfilling. There has been a lot of uncertainty throughout my life, especially around finding the right career. Becoming a tattoo artist was unexpected, but finding and working in this style made me realize that I’m doing more than just drawing on clients’ skin.

I have the privilege of working with my community, turning their stories into art, and I get the chance to be a part of it too. For that, I’m fulfilled and forever grateful.

They’re very personal to each client. Every tattoo has a different story, and intention is very important. Even if you’ve tattooed the same pattern over and over, it can mean and represent different things from one person to another.

That’s why I always ask, “What does this tattoo mean to you, beyond the aesthetics of it?” I’m encouraging you to dig a little deeper, beyond the beautiful patterns and their written meanings. Only if you want to share it with me, of course.

The patterns I use also depend on where you’re from and where you grew up. Sometimes it can be as simple as wanting something to represent your roots.

Some of us who moved here at a young age, are half-Filipino or grew up here have had a hard time fitting in or knowing where we belong. Sometimes we just need a reminder that we are Filipino enough, and I hope I can make people feel a sense of belonging. One tattoo at a time.

Yes, I’ve always believed that. No matter how good or bad a tattoo is, it’s a reminder of something: a story, a moment in your life and why you got it. They’re like bookmarks and you are the book.

It’s crazy and it still feels surreal on some days, but I’m extremely grateful for it.

When I started tattooing, I thought to myself, “I can travel anywhere and work.” But now, people travel to me instead, all the way from D.C., Philly, New York, California, B.C., Vancouver, Montreal and more. Some travel just for a day to get tattooed by me. So, safe to say, I haven’t travelled much at all.

I’m 50-50 on this. I understand why they did it back in the day, but then I think to myself, “Girl, you didn’t even get into the industry traditionally.” So maybe I can’t be the judge of that.

I think that as long as you have the right intentions, you’ll be alright. But if money is your reason to get into tattooing, think again.

It’s amazing. For the first time in the six years I’ve been tattooing, I’ve found a studio that feels like home. It feels good to be part of a team that you know supports you.

Thanks to the owners, Jared (@softboyink) and Jazz (@dreamgirltattoos), for not only creating a warm, cosy and welcoming space, but also being that themselves.

P.S. Come and guest with us!

If you’re here for the money, then you’re definitely in the wrong place. You have to do a little bit of grunt work, and then you can start demanding to do whatever you want later on. See the small stuff as practice and as a way to get better, because there’s always room for improvement. I’ve been tattooing for six years and I’m still learning. I don’t plan on stopping soon.

Do right by you, be intentional, be present and everything else will follow. But I’m not your mom, so you’re free to do whatever the fuck you want.

IF YOU’RE FILIPINO AND YOU’RE READING THIS, I SEE YOU AND YOU ARE FILIPINO ENOUGH!

ᜋᜑᜎ ᜃᜒᜆ ᜀᜆ ᜋᜍᜋᜒᜅ᜔ ᜐᜎᜋᜆ᜔!

Mahal kita at maraming salamat. (“I love you and thank you so much.”)

If you’re not Filipino, too bad. Settle in and welcome, because you are one of us now too!

But on a serious note, I don’t know. That is up to you to decide.